B.L.A.C.K.

No, this isn't about Jacob Black :))

A few minutes ago, I was admiring (a long overdue reaction though) our PC set... looks so elegant as everything's black - from the monitor, to the CPU, to the speakers, to the headset, to the modem, to the webcam/mic, to the mouse...everything's well..black :)

Then it just crossed my mind... I remembered the meeting I attended few weeks ago, there was no previous agreement on dress code (heller!!!! why the hell would there be dress code? haha:))) but when I came to the conference room, all of us but one were donned in black! There were six of us and the odd one out was wearing a gray outfit, still very near the shade of black :) Talk about coincidence!:)

So what's the point of this post, uh nothing, just some "color-coded" musing :))

Of him getting a new career and The New Poke-dog :))

It's been a while since I last posted here, and yes I am once again blaming it to my eternal busy bee disposition. The last entry seems to be incomplete and now after a few months, I am going to reiterate two of the exciting happenings "after the storm" :)

Firstly, "the person I care for" whom I thought was unfairly judged is now over with the incident. Now, he fully understands why it had to happen, a door had closed but God had taken off the roof so he may see the light and he may be showered with more blessings in life (he finally got a new career which he has long been hoping for). The funny thing is that the person behind all his miseries has become less interactive and emotionally connected with the "group" while he has grown closer to everyone. Now things are back to normal with him and the "group", he's happy and contented. As with the person behind his miseries, well my prayer goes to her that she may finally see the light too ;)

And secondly, we were given a new dog! (check out the photo):) The name is Bulby, short for Bulbasaur. Initially it was Chinny, so as to retain the "Ch" factor in the name (much like Chuchu) but my sister reacted violently haha, and expressed her desire to move on with a new life with a new pet, so she imposed that the name be Bulby (sounds cute though), short for Bulbasaur, a pokemon. I don't know why of all pokemon, she chose Bulbasaur, if I were home then I would have chosen Jiggle for Jiggly Puff haha. Well Chuchu's real name is Pikachu which is a pokemon as well so at least there's still a slight connection between the two dogs :)

Oh well Rockwell, so much for this, I am still in the process of completing a comparative analysis between Chuchu and Bulby so I could share it to everyone, til next time!:)

after the storm...

...mr. sun inevitably shows up...and i love it :)

(details to follow :))

.................................................................

This is one of those wala lang blog entries..

Just want to assure everyone that after the outburst (read the previous entry), I am calm now haha.....but but but, it does not mean that I am not pushing for action anymore...I still do and I am actually more insistent than before!

(If no action will be done, there will surely be a relapse and I would return to my original state.) :)

With that said, I wish peace would reign as soon as possible and....um... God bless our souls...

Sama ng Loob

I've been thinking if I should stop myself from ranting on this matter but I obviously cannot control my emotions anymore so I just have to do this...in Filipino para feel na feel!!!!!

Ganun pala yun, kapag yung taong mahalaga sa'yo lantarang inaapi, nakakasama ng loob! Yung tipong yung side lang nung isa ang pinakinggan kaya jinudge na sya! Ganun pala yun, kapag kitang-kita mo na sa mata ng taong mahalaga sa'yo ang kalungkutan dahil jinudge na sya kaagad at pinersonal na, nakakasama ng loob!

ALAM KO MADAMI DING MALING NAGAWA YUNG TAONG MAHALAGA SA AKIN AT AKO ANG KANYANG NUMERO UNONG KRITIKO NA KAHIT GAANO KASAKIT AY NAIBABATO KO SA KANYA PARA LANG TUMINO SIYA! KAYA HINDI PWEDENG SABIHIN NA BIASED AKO.

Pero kapag lumutang na ang katotohanan na hindi muna siya pinakinggan bago siya i-judge at personalin, ibang usapan na iyon! Hindi alam ng karamihan sa "grupo" ang tunay na dahilan kung bakit sya nagkakaganoon, kung bakit sya nagrerebelde, kung bakit ganoon na lamang ang kanyang reaksyon nung mangyari yun.

Siya man ang maging usap-usapan ngayon dahil sa nangyari pero hindi talaga nila lubos na maiintindihan kung bakit naging ganoon. Madami na syang napagdaanan at napagtiisan at kahit alam ko lahat ng sentimyento nya ay nanahimik ako dahil ayoko lumaki ang gulo at lagi ko naman sa kanya sinasabi na wala ako kinalaman sa kung anong di pagkakaunawaan na pinasok nya.

Pero ibang usapan na ito. Ayos lang naman sa kanya kahit anong resulta, (kahit ako ayoko naman din na magtagal siya sa "grupo" kaya kung maaari ay simpleng miyembro na lang sya) pero sana hindi na ipinakalat na kesyo ganitong proseso ang gagawin pero hindi pala. At sana kung totoong hindi pinersonal, sana ay kinausap muna sya nung mga taong involved. Mayroon na silang judgements at di man lang kinuha ang side nya. Yun lang naman ang kinasasama ng loob nya, hindi naman dahil sa naalis na sya sa dati nyang kinalalagyan.

Pero I'm sure mayroon pa ring magiging justification yung iba laban sa kanya, gaya ng sabi ko alam ko me mali sya pero alam ko din na pinersonal sya. Isa lang naman ang hinangad nya, ang magkausap muna sila pero anong nangyari?

Kaninang umaga pinagagalitan ko ang taong mahalaga sa akin dahil sa may mali na naman syang ginawa pero nung makita ko na sya kinagabihan, nanaig ang awa dahil sobra na, di ko na din kinakaya ang sentimyento nya.

Pero naniniwala pa rin ako na may katapusan ang lahat ng ito, sana lang ay sa madaling panahon. At sa mga taong involved, handa syang makipag-usap, sana kayo di! Isang hamon, kung totoong natouch ang isang tao ng Holy Spirit, makakaya nya ang pagforgive at forget!

Now that I've let it out...I can go to sleep...(I wish though that I'd never have to write an angry blog entry once again...)

Grave of the Fireflies...A Must See Film!!!!

I find this Japanese movie so emotionally haunting and heartbreaking, a definite eye-opener to the harsh realities of war and to the lessons of life, love and sacrifice.

Set in Japan, towards the end of World War 2, the film becomes a real tearjerker as it unfolds the sad plight of two orphaned children, Seita (14 years old) and his 4-year old sister Setsuko, who are forced to survive on their own amidst the predicaments of war. (If they indeed survive, I am not telling, one really has to see the film)

Watching the movie made me realize that there is nothing good about war, no country really reigns supreme in the true sense because even the powerful ones (like Japan which occupied and terrorized our country during WW2) suffer too, even they have civilians who are defenseless, hungry, weak, sick, afraid...who die.

It won't be a first and last viewing for the Grave of the Fireflies, I don't care if it will be an overwhelming experience once again, never mind if I will feel my heart constrict again, never mind if I will have to hold my breath again as I become witness to the sorrowful events...I could bear such feelings.

More importantly, the film brought me back to reality...made me reflect that amidst the hustle and bustle of my present life, there are certain things that are more important to hold on to than the rest.

Go on, I am urging you to experience the Grave of the Fireflies! Now!

P.S. The child actress, Mao Sasaki, who plays Setsuko is sooooooo adorable.

My ultimate Christmas wish was not granted...

Last Christmas (and my birthday too), I whispered to the heavens to grant me my ultimate wish - REST and RELAXATION.

But with all the tasks on my shoulder- careerwise, churchwise, familywise and selfwise, I have never really had a chance to chill out- mainly because of the seemingly endless work worries (special mention would be the recording of Sarah for a radio station which was postponed 3 times!!!!); because of the stressful preparation and execution of the 10th DYD boasting of the largest delegation ever; because of the Neo Christmas pageant panic and cram; because of my painstaking search for the right gifts for loved ones despite limited time... because of...etcetera, etcetera and another etcetera.

Hence, there was no experience of such rest and relaxation prior to, on Christmas day itself and even after. No regrets though as I know (uhm, well I hope I really know) that all the efforts, time, money and even the bloodshed were not wasted.

Now I know better than to wish for what I have wished this year. I will just wish instead that I'll be given enough strength and sanity to be able to deal with my eternal busy bee disposition as gracefully and calmly as possible...oh well...:)

Unrequited Love and Impacted Wisdom Tooth

"Unrequited love is like an impacted wisdom tooth. Its growth is inevitable, forcefully pushing its way to the surface in order to get exposed. But there's simply no room for it, no proper place for it to fully erupt. And then it gets so painful and when the suffering becomes intense and recurring, one is left with no choice but to extract it out of the system." - goldabidz

Wala lang naman, right now kasi I am in extreme pain because of an impacted wisdom tooth and para lang may maganda akong mahita out of this unpleasant experience, ginawa ko na lang syang inspiration to come up with a quotable quote ahahaha :))

Anyway I am definitely looking forward to my operation some time next year para once and for all ay maalis na itong impaktong impacted wisdom tooth :))

Aaaargh! Men are indeed from Mars!:)

"Mars - The Roman God of War"

The other night, there was an impromptu movie bonding among the male members of our household - my father, my uncle and my two bros, and oh my boyfriend who dropped by to visit me. They watched this war movie, the title of which, well, I can't recall anymore.

As far as I remember, it was the first time that I saw all of them seated together and looking into the boob tube with much concentration. It was also the first time that I failed to get the attention of my boyfriend, because my attempt to speak to him would be reciprocated with a wave of a hand which translated to "wait, I'm still watching something".

'Twas already almost 2am and I wanted to go to my room, just what the rest of the female Tabids have already done. But my boyfriend was still there that I cannot just leave him (proper gf manners haha). I had no choice then but to squeeze myself between him and my brother and try to watch.

End result...

I fell asleep...only to be awakened as the movie's nearing its end. haha.

So much for bonding with the male species :))

Nakakainis na ha...

Most asked question of me for the day (actually not just for today, but for the longest time I can remember)

"Kelan ka ikakasal?"

Nakakainis na ha...Nakakarindi na ha...fine.

When the boyfriend becomes a Twilight addict.. :))

I. SETTING: at the church, about to go home after attending word celebration of the community TIME: Just last night

GOLDA: (upon noticing that he wasn't wearing his usual office attire) Bakit naka ganyan ka? Galing ka sa bahay?

DONALD: (suddenly uttered, in a serious tone) I went hunting.

GOLDA: (laughed) DONALD: Why are you laughing? What is so funny about hunting?

GOLDA: (laughed again)

...and so they started to walk back home...

DONALD: (motioned for Golda to climb on to his back) Wanna climb that tree?

GOLDA: (laughed again)

..they passed by an isaw stand

DONALD: Oh animal blood!

******************

II. SETTING: Viva Office TIME: Yesterday afternoon

...phone rang, Golda picked up the phone

DONALD: (in a modulated voice) Hello Bella!

GOLDA: Kaw talaga! (and then laughed)

...Donald proceeded to tell Golda that he cannot fetch her from work for some reason

DONALD: Papapuntahin ko na lang si Alice sa'yo para samahan ka...

********************

III. SOME TEXT MESSAGES

Im always wth you even f ur asleep hehehe - 12:47 am 26-NOV-08 (GOODNIGHT MESSAGE)

Mommy Bella! Gud news! Bka gwing sat-sun dw ung last schd ng revw sa drtng n jan, ayos mka2pghunt n k ng bear! - 8:24 am 27-NOV-08 (REFERRING TO HIS BOARD REVIEW)

Inaantok ako mhy anu b yn, first tym kng nramdaman 2 evr since ngng vampire ako - 9:32am 27-NOV-08 (REFERRING TO HIS OFFICE BOREDOM)

*******************

In memory of Chuchu the DOGstar, 1999-2008

Our beloved pet chuchu passed away last Sunday (around 3am per my uncle's estimate)...

...and what better time to happen...when the whole family was gone for a 3-day church activity...guess he didn't want us to see him in his final moment...that would be more painful...

...or perhaps he tried his best to wait for us before catching his last breath...but to no avail...

Whatever it is, Chuchu will always and forever be remembered...

Oh no! Our dog's dying?

Just a few minutes ago, my mom commented "Malapit na si Chuchu"...waa she meant that our dear dog's final days are nearing. Chuchu (see Chuchu the dogstar album for photos) has a liver disease that's not quite clear to me. I'll do some investigating tomorrow. Oh no...I have been hoping that even just my future firstborn will be able to play with him (...him...yeah the treatment's all too human, he's the baby of the family... we love Chuchu aka Pikachu).

Oh no! Oh no! I hope my mom's just exaggerating, or maybe she's just preparing herself this early because I am very sure that when that dreadful moment comes, she won't be able to stop her tears from falling (and maybe the rest of the family).

But I shall let positive thinking prevail...Chuchu will live to see me build a family...Oh yes!

GLORIFYING THE STATE OF BEING ALONE..

... I am able to prove my strength and courage to go home late at night or wee hours in the morning without a bodyguard.

... I am able to shop (be it actually buying something or merely window shopping) without worrying that if I take too long in doing so, someone will surely get pissed off and threaten to walk out.

... I am able to focus more on my own thoughts and reflections.

... I am able to clearly ponder on my success and failure.

... I am able to review my past and re-align my future.

... I am able to get to know who I really am.

.AND MOST IMPORTANTLY..

... I am ultimately saved from pressuring someone into doing something he doesn't want to.

Whew!

At last the presentation's over! I mean it's ready to be presented tomorrow :) Donald is still here with me at the office (almost 11pm) but we're about to go home! Thank you Lord!:)

NIGHTS at VIVA office (donaldroy part 2)

Since the onset of the week, Donald and I have been spending nights at Viva office (WHOLESOME THOUGHTS please!:)) because of the seemingly endless preparations for the upcoming business planning. Of course, he has nothing to do with Viva business planning, but he definitely has something to do with me hehe, as I've said he's my forever ojt, and a very patient one I should say.:))

*As of this moment, while I'm taking this blog break (9:53pm), Donald is eating at a table near mine.
Anyway, I would like to say this once more, I can't be thankful ENOUGH to God for giving this man to me.:)

donald roy, my forever OJT hehehe

I can't be thankful enough to God for giving me someone who is willing to waste his evenings in my office, just to wait for me as I bury my head into the pile of tasks I have to accomplish for the day... That even in work struggles and suffering, his smile is enough to keep me at peace :))

"Business" of Two Grown-up Girls

Years ago, "business" for my friend Sam (Echavez) and I would be something connected with Kustura, our org in UP and that includes the following: preparing for LISTO (our annual interschool quiz bee in Marikina, discerning what to do during the ACLE, finalizing the recruitment process, revising the org's constitution and by-laws, voting in favor or not in favor of someone's impeachment, and many many more.

Fast forward time and we have both grown-up. Just a few minutes ago, Sam sent me a message thru YM asking for personal and publicity photos of Sarah Geronimo which she will include in the next issue of Cosmo.

I just can't help but muse, now that we've already established ourselves careerwise, (well somehow :)) it's amazing how we still do "business" together. That beyond the portals of our university, we still manage to keep in touch, not only because we are friends but also because our respective professional paths inevitably meet every now and then .:)

Amazing.

I want to do something but I cannot...YET.

Have you ever had that feeling of badly wanting to do somethig but reality tells you that for now, you simply cannot. Hence, the least that you could do, for the meantime, are the following: 1) try to understand the situation, 2) discern the pros and cons, and 3) courageously hinder the feeling from persistently getting into your way, until the "right-est" moment comes?

Well, I can personally relate to all the blah blahs. The feeling came to me all of a sudden but not to worry, I'm somehow in control of myself. I'm done with number 1 and 2. I've already understood the situation and I'm fully aware of the pros and cons.

Now I'm struggling to succeed with what-to-do-for-now number 3. If only the "right-est" time would come soon, I won't have to go through it anymore. Sigh.

***labo mo, goldabidz...I'm sure people won't understand what this is all about haha

thoughts after finally bringing HOWIE D. of BSB to the airport for his flight back to LA

after every storm there's a sunshine and after every sunshine, there's the storm again.

anyway, i'd rather dwell on this sunny incident in my life for now. i just got home from the airport and i still cannot believe it! i got to work with howie d. of backstreet boys! (he came to the philippines to promote sarah geronimo's latest album "just me"!) imagine, 12 years ago, i was just one of the zillions of fans adoring from afar. little did i know that there will come a time (specifically sept. 23-28, 2008) when i would be able to closely interact, go to Boracay with and actually converse with one BSB member until my nose bleeds. whow! i still cannot believe it!

i thought, i really thought, that i've already outgrown this backstreet boys fanaticism. but with my one week experience with howie d. ( and his wife leigh), i guess i have no choice but to admit that i am still a fan even up to now. hehe.